Once upon a time, I thought thirty-something-year-olds were ancient relics of adulthood (LOL). Fast forward to today, and here I am, thriving and fabulous at 34! Isn't it funny how life has a way of surprising us?I'm now somewhere between the freedom of being 21 and social expectancy of being 40-something but age is just a number right?
As I sat down to write this birthday reflection, I couldn't help but chuckle at the thought of my 'African aunties' raising an eyebrow at my age. But you know what? I’m celebrating every single moment of these incredible 34 years.
I know it's been a hot minute since I posted anything on the blog. Life was life-ing🤦🏾♀️😀. Thank you to everyone who's been reaching out to ask why the blog has been quiet. You all are the real MVPs and the reason why I keep sharing my stories.
A lot changed for me in the last year. There were many bright spots, but there were some really dark ones too. What this season has taught me is a whole lot of gratitude and self-reflection. I delved deeper into understanding myself, my actions (and inactions), what makes me truly happy, and what drives me. Am I living a fulfilling and meaningful life? So many questions. I don't know if this is how life gets as we get older, but I had so many questions so I had to look deeper.
In today's post, I want to share the top five things that helped me get to a better headspace and are pretty much my intentions for year 35. So here goes:
1. God is ALWAYS in the Story
This last year has been one of the most challenging yet rewarding. Learning to completely let go and let God was a huge shift for me. I am grateful for the wounds that led me closer to God. In letting go, I have learned to pay attention to and be grateful for all the tiny little miracles every day. Sometimes my heart is so full when I see all the ways He comes through for me, all I can do is cry happy tears.
Just the other day in the theatre, I was telling my colleague that I wanted to do a case—start to finish. I didn't know how to ask the consultant. As we were positioning the patient, the consultant walked in and told me to go ahead. My colleague turned to me and said, "You must pray a lot" because that was an answered prayer right there. It's true—I talk to God throughout the day, and seeing these little (and big) blessings unfold reaffirms my faith. Every time I felt defeated, something amazing happens—a scholarship, an opportunity, provision, answer to a silent prayer, a blessing of some form—EVERY TIME!
2. Healing the hidden wounds
In my self-reflections, I've come to realize that sometimes we carry so much emotional and mental trauma and we don't even realize it. Circumstances forced me to look into patterns and habits that kept taking me to dark places. I realized there are so many experiences starting from childhood that I have never truly processed. Some of my actions (or inactions) were trauma responses. Our communities have unconsciously ingrained the idea of accepting things as they are and moving on. I've made peace with the broken parts of me and I'm doing the work. I'm on a journey. I've learned to self-soothe and sit with my feelings for a bit instead of being instantly triggered. Healing isn't a destination, but I am proud of how far I've made it.
3. Living with intentionality
About everything—family, friendships, romantic relationships, career, experiences—everything! I've come to realize that I am a very sensitive person—I am a big feeler, and I'm not going to apologize for it. It means I give, care, and love deeply, and it's absolutely okay! I know sometimes the world is unkind to people like me, but guess what? I also know there are millions of kind people too! So I am learning to be intentional about who and what I let into my space. I'm striving to create deeper and more meaningful connections and releasing anything that does not align with my purpose. I love being a surgeon, but what I love more is being a daughter, a sister, a friend, an aunt. I'm being intentional about loving and spending time with the people who love me. I want to be intentional about where I go, the experiences and memories I create, my finances, my everyday choices—everything. Living intentionally has helped me find so much peace.
4. Sparkle and Shine
Earlier in the month, I did my ritual #TBT of birthdays past and life experiences with my twin brother. It made me realize how much I miss home and miss him. But what I also realized is how much I’ve dimmed my light, trying to fit in and cope with life's curveballs. I used to be excited about life, filled with moments of vibrant color. I unconsciously and sometimes consciously make n effort to not be seen. It's funny because even when I try to shrink myself, light always finds a way to shine through. Not too long ago, the consultant I used to work with was writing me a recommendation letter for a scholarship, and he told me something that keeps playing in my head and gives me hope. He said, "A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Grace and favor follow you." This isn't me bragging on myself; it's me bragging on God.
5. Self care is self love
This is last but probably the most important. I've realized that sometimes, I bury my head in work and school to not deal with life. It's great sometimes, but other times, it's overwhelming. One of my friends told me not to lose touch with my baby girl side because, for real, for real, I am a baby girl. LOL. I work hard, but I also love to play hard. I'm learning to say no without feeling guilty and not over-stretching myself. Over the last few years, I've had many visits to the hospital as a patient and many diagnoses and, of course, as a doctor, I understand all of it very well. Sometimes, my body tries to tell me things but I don't listen. I'm not doing that anymore. I'm learning to listen to my body when it says, "that's all I can do today." I'm prioritizing my wellness—physically and mentally.
Today, I look in the mirror and I'm happy with who I see. And even though tomorrow isn't guaranteed, it looks very promising. So going into year 35, I’ve decided not to dim my light. I'm not going to be every one's cup of tea and it's ok. Because I am not tea anyway.. I am champagne!🍾😀 I will embrace my brightness and carry it with me wherever I go. I'm learning, healing, growing, climbing ladders, figuring life out as I go, and becoming everything I was created to be. Falling in love with life again, I'm rekindling the joy of sharing exciting stories with you all. Oh, there are so many stories to share, and you'll be hearing from me more often—I promise.
Until next time, enjoy a few of my birthday photos. Oh, and as part of my birthday celebration and my 4th blogiversary, I’m giving away a £30 Amazon voucher. Just comment or like the post to enter the draw.😊
XOXO